I'm having an odd week. I keep finding myself on Myspace, then feeling guilty about it. I'm mostly getting on there to see if I have emails from some long lost comrades that I recently found, but for whatever reason, I associate Myspace with 13-year-olds. Now, facebook is completely acceptable(in short doses) but no one of my maturity level(arrogance level) should be Myspacing.
I'm just frustrated because I wanted to get caught up on things at work this week and got farther behind instead. I had no access to my computer yesterday and was at a training for a large part of today. I'm leaving town at noon tomorrow to be matron of honor at the wedding of a childhood friend (Yay Katie Beth!) and won't be back until Sunday afternoon, so I'm getting quite anxious about the amount of work not getting done. I'm still so fixated on getting things accomplished that I psyche myself out and have evenings like tonight where i'm so worried about my lack of productivity that i spend 6 hours piddling around.
Sorry friends, this blog is quite the downer. I may not actually post it. I'm not saying anything of importance except that I'm crabby, and no one needs more negativity in their lives. Hmm...
The Social Action Movie Night went well last friday. I was at the church until 11pm talking with some people about the state of the world, which was enjoyable. I'm now thinking about how to make myself more accessible as an Ally, especially when I'm working with the young people this fall. I'm considering getting a (tasteful and professional) lapel pin, maybe a rainbow ribbon or flag, to wear during presentations and groups. Thoughts? All you lurkers out there: I know you're reading because I use StatCounter! Make a comment! Let there be interaction!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Fruits of my labor
Today I had my first experience of eating my own home grown food. I plucked 3 leaves off of my best producing lettuce plant, wrapped them in a napkin and put them on a cheese sandwich at lunch. Unfortunately, my lunch happened in 10 minutes at my desk, while preparing a presentation on birth control for a group of teen parents. So I didn't savor the lettuce. But I did show it off to a few people. My lettuce is really beautiful, I'm going to add some pictures later this week. My peas are podding and potatoes are blooming. Its so exciting!!
Work today was crazy. I had to call DCFS(Department of Child & Family Services) to make a child abuse allegation about a client. This is always good for the working relationship. I also went to a staffing (a meeting where everyone working with a family gets together and makes a game plan) and the mom showed up 40 minutes late and drunk(like comedy movie drunk-hair sticking up, red lipstick smeared across the face). She is someone i had a lot of hope for, but she seems like she is not really ready for sobriety. She desperately wants to stop drinking, but isn't dealing with her mental health issues and has no support system, so when something bad happens she just starts drinking again. Its like she can't help it. But that doesn't matter, she can't have her baby if she can't stay sober(Not that I get to make that call, thank the Goodness). I told my boss today that I can feel myself getting more jaded as the week progresses. I am learning a lot but these are the lessons that occur as you build layers over your heart. Being a social worker does not always line up with my idea of a good person. I want to have complete trust in the goodness of the people i come across and I'm learning not to trust them at all. It is hard to know what the right thing is in this situation. I talked with this particular client yesterday and she tried to turn the phone call into a conversation blaming other people for her situation and tearing them down, and I got really hard with her, saying "This is not what I am in your life for, to complain about this woman. We need to focus on You . You messed up pretty big time this week and its going to take a lot of work to fix this" etc. My bosses were very supportive of putting on my "mean wendy hat" which never gets worn and I know that this woman did not need someone to listen to her pity party saying "oh yeah your life is so bad, i totally see why you got drunk" but its still hard to see myself getting jaded. Not that I'm really that hard, I have to laugh at myself for being worried about it, but I know its a gradual change and its scary that i see it starting.
After a short step back: I know that i am a chronic people pleaser. maybe this is not so much getting jaded as it is letting go of my need to be liked in favor of saying what needs to be said to genuinely benefit someone. I truly believe that love is doing what is best for people, not what they want, but how arrogant is that to think i know what is best for people? Why did i chose such a complex field? I should be in a profession with a straightforward manual, with only one way to do it right.
In other news I talked to a lot of neighbors tonight. Dorothy escaped and as Chris was carrying her home(a hilarious sight I have to say) Arlene next door was in the yard, so I talked with her and her daughter Gail who has foster dogs(how cool is that!)Then Natalie across the street was outside and Chris and I had ice cream with her when the ice cream truck went by. I was taking out the garbage and our neighbors across the alley had their garage open and I ran across to introduce myself like the nerd that I am. Cassie and Mark(i think), who are around our age and have two small kids and don't know a lot of people either. I am really excited, I am making friends! Or at least potential friends. AND my new friend Kasey and I are going to the Ani Difranco concert next month! AND my friend Traci may be moving to town! OK, good, focusing on my well developing personal life has distracted me from my somewhat depressing professional life.
Work today was crazy. I had to call DCFS(Department of Child & Family Services) to make a child abuse allegation about a client. This is always good for the working relationship. I also went to a staffing (a meeting where everyone working with a family gets together and makes a game plan) and the mom showed up 40 minutes late and drunk(like comedy movie drunk-hair sticking up, red lipstick smeared across the face). She is someone i had a lot of hope for, but she seems like she is not really ready for sobriety. She desperately wants to stop drinking, but isn't dealing with her mental health issues and has no support system, so when something bad happens she just starts drinking again. Its like she can't help it. But that doesn't matter, she can't have her baby if she can't stay sober(Not that I get to make that call, thank the Goodness). I told my boss today that I can feel myself getting more jaded as the week progresses. I am learning a lot but these are the lessons that occur as you build layers over your heart. Being a social worker does not always line up with my idea of a good person. I want to have complete trust in the goodness of the people i come across and I'm learning not to trust them at all. It is hard to know what the right thing is in this situation. I talked with this particular client yesterday and she tried to turn the phone call into a conversation blaming other people for her situation and tearing them down, and I got really hard with her, saying "This is not what I am in your life for, to complain about this woman. We need to focus on You . You messed up pretty big time this week and its going to take a lot of work to fix this" etc. My bosses were very supportive of putting on my "mean wendy hat" which never gets worn and I know that this woman did not need someone to listen to her pity party saying "oh yeah your life is so bad, i totally see why you got drunk" but its still hard to see myself getting jaded. Not that I'm really that hard, I have to laugh at myself for being worried about it, but I know its a gradual change and its scary that i see it starting.
After a short step back: I know that i am a chronic people pleaser. maybe this is not so much getting jaded as it is letting go of my need to be liked in favor of saying what needs to be said to genuinely benefit someone. I truly believe that love is doing what is best for people, not what they want, but how arrogant is that to think i know what is best for people? Why did i chose such a complex field? I should be in a profession with a straightforward manual, with only one way to do it right.
In other news I talked to a lot of neighbors tonight. Dorothy escaped and as Chris was carrying her home(a hilarious sight I have to say) Arlene next door was in the yard, so I talked with her and her daughter Gail who has foster dogs(how cool is that!)Then Natalie across the street was outside and Chris and I had ice cream with her when the ice cream truck went by. I was taking out the garbage and our neighbors across the alley had their garage open and I ran across to introduce myself like the nerd that I am. Cassie and Mark(i think), who are around our age and have two small kids and don't know a lot of people either. I am really excited, I am making friends! Or at least potential friends. AND my new friend Kasey and I are going to the Ani Difranco concert next month! AND my friend Traci may be moving to town! OK, good, focusing on my well developing personal life has distracted me from my somewhat depressing professional life.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
No news
Well, I lied. Things did not go back to normal on June 1. Now I'm just busy with boring things-catching up on paperwork, mostly. But I still feel like I'm racing around with too much to do. Maybe July will be better.
One fun thing I am doing is revising curriculum and making plans for changes to next year's programs. We are looking at adapting a high school program for a junior high program and I was talking to my boss about it. "This looks great!" I said. "Maybe just a little less sex." "Uh, no Wendy, we need to have plenty of sex, we're going to be hearing all about that at our next meeting with the state." "OK, we'll have plenty of sex then." She didn't laugh, but I thought this was hilarious. The fact that I get to say this kind of stuff still brings me a lot of joy.
Last weekend I attended a retreat sponsored by the Reclaiming Moral Values Forum of Progressive Action for the Common Good of the Quad Cities. The retreat was at the Our
Lady of the Prairie Retreat House, which I had never been to before. It was a good opportunity for me to start thinking about that part of my life again, which i haven't for a while. It was not as in-depth spiritually as what I would have liked, but then that is hard to do when you aren't coming to the topic with a common faith tradition. I met the pastor of our local Unitarian church, as well as someone who is a member. I am planning to check it out one of these Sundays.
I also met some good people, and am feeling enthusiastic about getting involved. Caroline, who is the PACG Organizer, coordinates a monthly Social Action movie night, which I've volunteered to help with. I picked out this month's title-"for the Bible Tells me so." I'm excited to possibly have a place to go and do some work, because i know that i don't do any when left to my own devices. I guess that's not altogether true. I've been doing a lot of changes in my personal life this year, but its time for me to go get active in the broader world, and that is easier to do within a supportive group. I went to a Peace Vigil that another PACG group has on Thursday afternoons. I've been wanting to do that since I found out about it in March, of course today, my first time attending, we had a major rainstorm. But it was really great, we got a lot of honks and waves and I found out that someone I work with is a member of the Peace Forum. I am hoping to make it a regular Thursday event.
So I guess there is some news, just nothing work related. Thats ok, time for some personal development, i guess.
One fun thing I am doing is revising curriculum and making plans for changes to next year's programs. We are looking at adapting a high school program for a junior high program and I was talking to my boss about it. "This looks great!" I said. "Maybe just a little less sex." "Uh, no Wendy, we need to have plenty of sex, we're going to be hearing all about that at our next meeting with the state." "OK, we'll have plenty of sex then." She didn't laugh, but I thought this was hilarious. The fact that I get to say this kind of stuff still brings me a lot of joy.
Last weekend I attended a retreat sponsored by the Reclaiming Moral Values Forum of Progressive Action for the Common Good of the Quad Cities. The retreat was at the Our
Lady of the Prairie Retreat House, which I had never been to before. It was a good opportunity for me to start thinking about that part of my life again, which i haven't for a while. It was not as in-depth spiritually as what I would have liked, but then that is hard to do when you aren't coming to the topic with a common faith tradition. I met the pastor of our local Unitarian church, as well as someone who is a member. I am planning to check it out one of these Sundays.
I also met some good people, and am feeling enthusiastic about getting involved. Caroline, who is the PACG Organizer, coordinates a monthly Social Action movie night, which I've volunteered to help with. I picked out this month's title-"for the Bible Tells me so." I'm excited to possibly have a place to go and do some work, because i know that i don't do any when left to my own devices. I guess that's not altogether true. I've been doing a lot of changes in my personal life this year, but its time for me to go get active in the broader world, and that is easier to do within a supportive group. I went to a Peace Vigil that another PACG group has on Thursday afternoons. I've been wanting to do that since I found out about it in March, of course today, my first time attending, we had a major rainstorm. But it was really great, we got a lot of honks and waves and I found out that someone I work with is a member of the Peace Forum. I am hoping to make it a regular Thursday event.
So I guess there is some news, just nothing work related. Thats ok, time for some personal development, i guess.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month
Well I'm feeling way too tired to blog(which is why I haven't in quite a while) but my alternative is folding laundry, so here I am. My boss has been making comments all year about how busy the end of the school year is, but I just didn't believe her. I believe her.
May is Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month and to celebrate, my agency had a press conference last Wednesday. We had some awesome press coverage, including 2 local TV stations, Channel 4 and Channel 8. We also had a decent article in the Quad City Times and I've been told we were mentioned on 2 local radio stations. It was pretty darn exciting. I hope that people use it as an opportunity to talk to the kids in their lives about relationships, sex and boundaries. (Hint, Hint! Stop reading this and go talk to your kids!)
The issue really is a big one, despite the common perception that it is not any more. The teen birth rate has gone down for the last 15 years or so, but from 2005-2006(most recent figures available), the national rate rose. No one knows for sure if this is a fluke or beginning of a turn around, but either way, its an indicator that we have to keep fighting to educate our young people and empower them to make good choices. I believe that in fighting against teen pregnancy, I'm also fighting poverty, disenfranchisement and drug abuse. 60% of teen moms drop out of school, 75% of them wind up on welfare or other government assistance and their children's futures are even more bleak. They are twice as likely to deal with abuse or neglect, their sons twice as likely to do prison time and daughters three times as likely to be teen moms, when compared to children born to older parents. WE HAVE TO STOP THIS CYCLE. all of these issues are interrelated, we have to help kids avoid starting on the path of bad choices.
In other news, I gave a full day of workshops on Sexual Harrassment to 7th & 8th Graders today, will be leading a discussion & viewing of the movie "Juno" tomorrow, attending a conference in Des Moines on Thursday and going on 3 field trips next week. Also had a file review last week(meaning ALL paperwork had to be up to date...those who know me are shuddering or laughing), distributed posters for TPP month to over a dozen schools and agencies, our basement flooded(again) yesterday and I've been having my "normal" workload of home visits and Survival groups. So please do forgive me if I have ignored any emails or phone calls, I'll be back to normal operations in June. I swear.
May is Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month and to celebrate, my agency had a press conference last Wednesday. We had some awesome press coverage, including 2 local TV stations, Channel 4 and Channel 8. We also had a decent article in the Quad City Times and I've been told we were mentioned on 2 local radio stations. It was pretty darn exciting. I hope that people use it as an opportunity to talk to the kids in their lives about relationships, sex and boundaries. (Hint, Hint! Stop reading this and go talk to your kids!)
The issue really is a big one, despite the common perception that it is not any more. The teen birth rate has gone down for the last 15 years or so, but from 2005-2006(most recent figures available), the national rate rose. No one knows for sure if this is a fluke or beginning of a turn around, but either way, its an indicator that we have to keep fighting to educate our young people and empower them to make good choices. I believe that in fighting against teen pregnancy, I'm also fighting poverty, disenfranchisement and drug abuse. 60% of teen moms drop out of school, 75% of them wind up on welfare or other government assistance and their children's futures are even more bleak. They are twice as likely to deal with abuse or neglect, their sons twice as likely to do prison time and daughters three times as likely to be teen moms, when compared to children born to older parents. WE HAVE TO STOP THIS CYCLE. all of these issues are interrelated, we have to help kids avoid starting on the path of bad choices.
In other news, I gave a full day of workshops on Sexual Harrassment to 7th & 8th Graders today, will be leading a discussion & viewing of the movie "Juno" tomorrow, attending a conference in Des Moines on Thursday and going on 3 field trips next week. Also had a file review last week(meaning ALL paperwork had to be up to date...those who know me are shuddering or laughing), distributed posters for TPP month to over a dozen schools and agencies, our basement flooded(again) yesterday and I've been having my "normal" workload of home visits and Survival groups. So please do forgive me if I have ignored any emails or phone calls, I'll be back to normal operations in June. I swear.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Food Crisis
We've all been hearing about the food crisis going on in the world, and its been pretty easy to ignore here in Iowa. Yesterday as I was driving to work, I was listening to On Point, a radio show on NPR, that was discussing the food crisis. One of the guests, I believe it was Raj Patel, author of Stuffed and Starved, told the story of a farmer in India who had taken out a loan to drill for a well on his property. Unfortunately, the well was dry, so he took out another loan, now more desperate for money to pay back the previous debt. This well was also dry. This went on a few times until the farmer despaired, mixed a farm chemical with water and drank it after his wife and children had gone to bed one night. He died, all for a farm loan of around $350 USD.
My husband and I bought a playstation 3 last weekend. It cost $400. I cried on the way to work yesterday.
My husband and I bought a playstation 3 last weekend. It cost $400. I cried on the way to work yesterday.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Birth
One of my clients in the Pregnancy & Parenting program is having a baby today. I talked with her yesterday and she was on her way to see her doctor. She said she'd call me back to let me know what was going on...and I never heard from her. Although she's only 17, she's really good about calling me back. So I called to check in today and had a hilarious conversation:
"Hi, is Sally there?" "Uhh...no...she's at the hospital!!" said the male voice. "Well, this is Wendy from Bethany, I just wanted to check in." "OH! Yeah, she went in last night and they gave her something for the contractions, so it'll be sometime today!" So she is literally having a baby today.
I don't normally get to be this involved. Frequently I will get a call a week after the fact and hear "I had the baby, I'm not breastfeeding, it sucked, come over whenever you want." But "Sally" has been a wonderful young woman to work with, she's gone to classes at the hospital, a la leche league meeting, etc. She's really been keeping me in the loop and is accepting of my help, which is great. I'm just so excited to be a part of people's pregnancies, at whatever level. I love that my two programs are so complementary, I have learned a lot about reproductive health in the last year. I am not only a sexpert, but know a lot about pregnancy and babies too! I've gotten really interested in the alternatives to the high intervention birth, which is the trend in the US. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 1 in 3 babies in the United States is delivered by cesarean section. Women frequently give birth with epidurals for pain relief, doctors induce labor with pitocin and break the woman's water if things aren't moving quickly enough. I'm not saying that the medical field is out to get women or anything like that, but I do feel that we are moving in a dangerous direction in this country. Women no longer just have babies, everything is highly scheduled. It has been very interesting reading about the history of childbirth, the changing roles of doctors and midwives and other trends.
I try to encourage my clients to breastfeed and make up a birth plan in advance. I don't push my own beliefs about medication, but I do push things like rooming in with the baby, which research has shown to improve bonding and breastfeeding. I dont care if they get an epidural or are induced, I just want to make sure that they are able to talk to their doctors and have their opinions validated.
Anyway, that got way off topic. All I wanted to mention was how thrilled I was today when I got to talk to this client's dad while his grandbaby was being born.
"Hi, is Sally there?" "Uhh...no...she's at the hospital!!" said the male voice. "Well, this is Wendy from Bethany, I just wanted to check in." "OH! Yeah, she went in last night and they gave her something for the contractions, so it'll be sometime today!" So she is literally having a baby today.
I don't normally get to be this involved. Frequently I will get a call a week after the fact and hear "I had the baby, I'm not breastfeeding, it sucked, come over whenever you want." But "Sally" has been a wonderful young woman to work with, she's gone to classes at the hospital, a la leche league meeting, etc. She's really been keeping me in the loop and is accepting of my help, which is great. I'm just so excited to be a part of people's pregnancies, at whatever level. I love that my two programs are so complementary, I have learned a lot about reproductive health in the last year. I am not only a sexpert, but know a lot about pregnancy and babies too! I've gotten really interested in the alternatives to the high intervention birth, which is the trend in the US. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 1 in 3 babies in the United States is delivered by cesarean section. Women frequently give birth with epidurals for pain relief, doctors induce labor with pitocin and break the woman's water if things aren't moving quickly enough. I'm not saying that the medical field is out to get women or anything like that, but I do feel that we are moving in a dangerous direction in this country. Women no longer just have babies, everything is highly scheduled. It has been very interesting reading about the history of childbirth, the changing roles of doctors and midwives and other trends.
I try to encourage my clients to breastfeed and make up a birth plan in advance. I don't push my own beliefs about medication, but I do push things like rooming in with the baby, which research has shown to improve bonding and breastfeeding. I dont care if they get an epidural or are induced, I just want to make sure that they are able to talk to their doctors and have their opinions validated.
Anyway, that got way off topic. All I wanted to mention was how thrilled I was today when I got to talk to this client's dad while his grandbaby was being born.
Oh dear
My dad's fiance emailed me this picture from his birthday a few weeks ago. We had all gone out to dinner after work on a friday night(a real thank goodness the week is over kind of friday) and I am seriously concerned that this is what my face looks like in repose. How often am I lost in thought and scaring away my coworkers?? Do I look like this when I'm listening to clients tell me about their babies? 8th graders telling me about their love lives? EEK!
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