Well I'm feeling way too tired to blog(which is why I haven't in quite a while) but my alternative is folding laundry, so here I am. My boss has been making comments all year about how busy the end of the school year is, but I just didn't believe her. I believe her.
May is Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month and to celebrate, my agency had a press conference last Wednesday. We had some awesome press coverage, including 2 local TV stations, Channel 4 and Channel 8. We also had a decent article in the Quad City Times and I've been told we were mentioned on 2 local radio stations. It was pretty darn exciting. I hope that people use it as an opportunity to talk to the kids in their lives about relationships, sex and boundaries. (Hint, Hint! Stop reading this and go talk to your kids!)
The issue really is a big one, despite the common perception that it is not any more. The teen birth rate has gone down for the last 15 years or so, but from 2005-2006(most recent figures available), the national rate rose. No one knows for sure if this is a fluke or beginning of a turn around, but either way, its an indicator that we have to keep fighting to educate our young people and empower them to make good choices. I believe that in fighting against teen pregnancy, I'm also fighting poverty, disenfranchisement and drug abuse. 60% of teen moms drop out of school, 75% of them wind up on welfare or other government assistance and their children's futures are even more bleak. They are twice as likely to deal with abuse or neglect, their sons twice as likely to do prison time and daughters three times as likely to be teen moms, when compared to children born to older parents. WE HAVE TO STOP THIS CYCLE. all of these issues are interrelated, we have to help kids avoid starting on the path of bad choices.
In other news, I gave a full day of workshops on Sexual Harrassment to 7th & 8th Graders today, will be leading a discussion & viewing of the movie "Juno" tomorrow, attending a conference in Des Moines on Thursday and going on 3 field trips next week. Also had a file review last week(meaning ALL paperwork had to be up to date...those who know me are shuddering or laughing), distributed posters for TPP month to over a dozen schools and agencies, our basement flooded(again) yesterday and I've been having my "normal" workload of home visits and Survival groups. So please do forgive me if I have ignored any emails or phone calls, I'll be back to normal operations in June. I swear.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Food Crisis
We've all been hearing about the food crisis going on in the world, and its been pretty easy to ignore here in Iowa. Yesterday as I was driving to work, I was listening to On Point, a radio show on NPR, that was discussing the food crisis. One of the guests, I believe it was Raj Patel, author of Stuffed and Starved, told the story of a farmer in India who had taken out a loan to drill for a well on his property. Unfortunately, the well was dry, so he took out another loan, now more desperate for money to pay back the previous debt. This well was also dry. This went on a few times until the farmer despaired, mixed a farm chemical with water and drank it after his wife and children had gone to bed one night. He died, all for a farm loan of around $350 USD.
My husband and I bought a playstation 3 last weekend. It cost $400. I cried on the way to work yesterday.
My husband and I bought a playstation 3 last weekend. It cost $400. I cried on the way to work yesterday.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Birth
One of my clients in the Pregnancy & Parenting program is having a baby today. I talked with her yesterday and she was on her way to see her doctor. She said she'd call me back to let me know what was going on...and I never heard from her. Although she's only 17, she's really good about calling me back. So I called to check in today and had a hilarious conversation:
"Hi, is Sally there?" "Uhh...no...she's at the hospital!!" said the male voice. "Well, this is Wendy from Bethany, I just wanted to check in." "OH! Yeah, she went in last night and they gave her something for the contractions, so it'll be sometime today!" So she is literally having a baby today.
I don't normally get to be this involved. Frequently I will get a call a week after the fact and hear "I had the baby, I'm not breastfeeding, it sucked, come over whenever you want." But "Sally" has been a wonderful young woman to work with, she's gone to classes at the hospital, a la leche league meeting, etc. She's really been keeping me in the loop and is accepting of my help, which is great. I'm just so excited to be a part of people's pregnancies, at whatever level. I love that my two programs are so complementary, I have learned a lot about reproductive health in the last year. I am not only a sexpert, but know a lot about pregnancy and babies too! I've gotten really interested in the alternatives to the high intervention birth, which is the trend in the US. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 1 in 3 babies in the United States is delivered by cesarean section. Women frequently give birth with epidurals for pain relief, doctors induce labor with pitocin and break the woman's water if things aren't moving quickly enough. I'm not saying that the medical field is out to get women or anything like that, but I do feel that we are moving in a dangerous direction in this country. Women no longer just have babies, everything is highly scheduled. It has been very interesting reading about the history of childbirth, the changing roles of doctors and midwives and other trends.
I try to encourage my clients to breastfeed and make up a birth plan in advance. I don't push my own beliefs about medication, but I do push things like rooming in with the baby, which research has shown to improve bonding and breastfeeding. I dont care if they get an epidural or are induced, I just want to make sure that they are able to talk to their doctors and have their opinions validated.
Anyway, that got way off topic. All I wanted to mention was how thrilled I was today when I got to talk to this client's dad while his grandbaby was being born.
"Hi, is Sally there?" "Uhh...no...she's at the hospital!!" said the male voice. "Well, this is Wendy from Bethany, I just wanted to check in." "OH! Yeah, she went in last night and they gave her something for the contractions, so it'll be sometime today!" So she is literally having a baby today.
I don't normally get to be this involved. Frequently I will get a call a week after the fact and hear "I had the baby, I'm not breastfeeding, it sucked, come over whenever you want." But "Sally" has been a wonderful young woman to work with, she's gone to classes at the hospital, a la leche league meeting, etc. She's really been keeping me in the loop and is accepting of my help, which is great. I'm just so excited to be a part of people's pregnancies, at whatever level. I love that my two programs are so complementary, I have learned a lot about reproductive health in the last year. I am not only a sexpert, but know a lot about pregnancy and babies too! I've gotten really interested in the alternatives to the high intervention birth, which is the trend in the US. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 1 in 3 babies in the United States is delivered by cesarean section. Women frequently give birth with epidurals for pain relief, doctors induce labor with pitocin and break the woman's water if things aren't moving quickly enough. I'm not saying that the medical field is out to get women or anything like that, but I do feel that we are moving in a dangerous direction in this country. Women no longer just have babies, everything is highly scheduled. It has been very interesting reading about the history of childbirth, the changing roles of doctors and midwives and other trends.
I try to encourage my clients to breastfeed and make up a birth plan in advance. I don't push my own beliefs about medication, but I do push things like rooming in with the baby, which research has shown to improve bonding and breastfeeding. I dont care if they get an epidural or are induced, I just want to make sure that they are able to talk to their doctors and have their opinions validated.
Anyway, that got way off topic. All I wanted to mention was how thrilled I was today when I got to talk to this client's dad while his grandbaby was being born.
Oh dear
My dad's fiance emailed me this picture from his birthday a few weeks ago. We had all gone out to dinner after work on a friday night(a real thank goodness the week is over kind of friday) and I am seriously concerned that this is what my face looks like in repose. How often am I lost in thought and scaring away my coworkers?? Do I look like this when I'm listening to clients tell me about their babies? 8th graders telling me about their love lives? EEK!
Monday, April 28, 2008
On a personal note
What does it mean when I stalk my friends on facebook and feel depressed and left out instead of happy and nostalgic. There are some people, who I have not seen in a year, who I can read their blogs or whatever and miss them, but feel love and excitement for what they are doing in their thrilling lives. But I just read some stuff on the good-old facebook and mostly feel like crying.
I replaced some friends on my speed dial over the weekend. College friends who I still care about, but never talk to anymore. It would have been better if I'd been replacing them with new and exciting friends, but I wasn't. I don't have a lot of hope for acquiring those new and exciting friends either.
Don't get me wrong, there are some people at work who I really like and its great being closer to my family and high school friends. I've seen my mom and dad a lot lately, which has been wonderful. But I felt really connected to some of my college friends, especially last year. With a place like Iowa State, I really only had to hang out with people I liked. So the ones I stayed connected with are the ones that I have a lot in common with. Like philosophies and dreams, not just place of employment or a hobby or two.
But I'm not really friends with those people anymore. That's the truth of the matter. Glorified acquaintances with a good past, I guess. But it sucks and it hurts. I'm not usually lonely here, but I guess tonight might be a mourning night for friendships that just didn't last.
I replaced some friends on my speed dial over the weekend. College friends who I still care about, but never talk to anymore. It would have been better if I'd been replacing them with new and exciting friends, but I wasn't. I don't have a lot of hope for acquiring those new and exciting friends either.
Don't get me wrong, there are some people at work who I really like and its great being closer to my family and high school friends. I've seen my mom and dad a lot lately, which has been wonderful. But I felt really connected to some of my college friends, especially last year. With a place like Iowa State, I really only had to hang out with people I liked. So the ones I stayed connected with are the ones that I have a lot in common with. Like philosophies and dreams, not just place of employment or a hobby or two.
But I'm not really friends with those people anymore. That's the truth of the matter. Glorified acquaintances with a good past, I guess. But it sucks and it hurts. I'm not usually lonely here, but I guess tonight might be a mourning night for friendships that just didn't last.
How to be inclusive
In an effort to make an already uncomfortable topic more comfortable to any LGBT students who may be in the classes I teach, I try to use gender and orientation neutral language as much as I can. Sex ed is always an awkward class, but if you are of a minority and the facilitator is speaking as though you don’t exist, it would be even worse. I always use the term “partner” and try to mention “life partner” every time I mention a husband or wife.
Today I was doing our high school presentation “Sex & It’s Consequences” for 2 classes of freshman health students. I realized that many of the little “activities” we do are strongly reinforcing heterosexism. During a discussion about pregnancy, I pick out 1 girl who, for the purposes of discussion, just found out she’s pregnant, and one boy who is her ‘boyfriend’. I ask the other girls how they feel about her and the other boys if they’d date her, demonstrating how isolated and alone teen moms become. I think it is an important illustration, but it points out the fact that the girls would be her friend and the boys her partner.
In another example, I ask the boys what kind of peer pressure they get to have sex, from friends and girls. Then I ask the girls the same question. This reinforces stereotype of boys as horn dogs, but I try to break it down and discuss it. “Boys, you have my respect. Our society expects you to be be pursuing sex constantly while we expect girls to say no for a while. If you chose not to have sex, its really hard!” BUT during this discussion there is a lot of talk about what pressure you get from the opposite sex….and the opposite sex is just implied to be the gender pursuing romance.
I did a little research on inclusive language and the only things I really found were discussing using "partner" instead of girlfriend/boyfriend. But I know that my assumptions that everyone is heterosexual go much deeper. Now I have to decide my priorities. Do I sacrifice these valuable parts of my presentation, because they aren't inclusive? Do I try to alter them, making it painfully obvious that I'm including LGBT students? Do I leave it alone? This one is sitting on the back burner for a while, I think.
Today I was doing our high school presentation “Sex & It’s Consequences” for 2 classes of freshman health students. I realized that many of the little “activities” we do are strongly reinforcing heterosexism. During a discussion about pregnancy, I pick out 1 girl who, for the purposes of discussion, just found out she’s pregnant, and one boy who is her ‘boyfriend’. I ask the other girls how they feel about her and the other boys if they’d date her, demonstrating how isolated and alone teen moms become. I think it is an important illustration, but it points out the fact that the girls would be her friend and the boys her partner.
In another example, I ask the boys what kind of peer pressure they get to have sex, from friends and girls. Then I ask the girls the same question. This reinforces stereotype of boys as horn dogs, but I try to break it down and discuss it. “Boys, you have my respect. Our society expects you to be be pursuing sex constantly while we expect girls to say no for a while. If you chose not to have sex, its really hard!” BUT during this discussion there is a lot of talk about what pressure you get from the opposite sex….and the opposite sex is just implied to be the gender pursuing romance.
I did a little research on inclusive language and the only things I really found were discussing using "partner" instead of girlfriend/boyfriend. But I know that my assumptions that everyone is heterosexual go much deeper. Now I have to decide my priorities. Do I sacrifice these valuable parts of my presentation, because they aren't inclusive? Do I try to alter them, making it painfully obvious that I'm including LGBT students? Do I leave it alone? This one is sitting on the back burner for a while, I think.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
I have good Self-Esteem
As a part of our 6th grade program, we spend a whole day talking about self-esteem. Today I realized that I have really good self-esteem right now. I'm happy. This may seem like an odd thing to say, but I think it bears announcing. I haven't always had good self-esteem, in fact I think that I may have had bad to mediocre self-esteem for most of my life.
But lately, I feel like things are really going well. I adore my job. My husband and I are doing really well, we are having a lot of fun and getting along beautifully. My relationship with both of my parents is in an excellent place, which has never before been true. Most importantly, I'm accomplishing a lot of goals. Very small minor goals, but its almost like my ideal self and my real self are getting much closer together. (It is generally understood that a person's self-image is made up of 3 parts: the ideal self-who i wish i was, the public self-who i think other people see me as, the real self-who i really see myself as). In the past, I was such a perfectionist that I set my ideal self up as an impossibility and perceived my real self as much worse than it truly was. But now, I'm appreciating the small victories I make, the small steps I take to becoming the person I wish I was. I am also realizing that I will never be the perfect activist, social worker, wife, simple living, carbon neutral super woman of my dreams. I realize that all the things I'm working towards are works-in-progress and always will be. That part of being a good christian/environmentalist/life-partner is the journey of it, that I will always be looking for one more way to get better at it, to do more.
People think that being happy means a constant state of feeling good. This is why none of us believe we are happy. I truly feel that I am happy and content with my life right now. I still have days where I want to strangle my husband and quit my job(violently). But when I stop and think about my life, I am filled with a warm joy through my body and I realize that my life is very very good.
But lately, I feel like things are really going well. I adore my job. My husband and I are doing really well, we are having a lot of fun and getting along beautifully. My relationship with both of my parents is in an excellent place, which has never before been true. Most importantly, I'm accomplishing a lot of goals. Very small minor goals, but its almost like my ideal self and my real self are getting much closer together. (It is generally understood that a person's self-image is made up of 3 parts: the ideal self-who i wish i was, the public self-who i think other people see me as, the real self-who i really see myself as). In the past, I was such a perfectionist that I set my ideal self up as an impossibility and perceived my real self as much worse than it truly was. But now, I'm appreciating the small victories I make, the small steps I take to becoming the person I wish I was. I am also realizing that I will never be the perfect activist, social worker, wife, simple living, carbon neutral super woman of my dreams. I realize that all the things I'm working towards are works-in-progress and always will be. That part of being a good christian/environmentalist/life-partner is the journey of it, that I will always be looking for one more way to get better at it, to do more.
People think that being happy means a constant state of feeling good. This is why none of us believe we are happy. I truly feel that I am happy and content with my life right now. I still have days where I want to strangle my husband and quit my job(violently). But when I stop and think about my life, I am filled with a warm joy through my body and I realize that my life is very very good.
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